A sporting week

Last week was a very sporting week for me..zumba on monday, swimming thursday, walking/running saturday with hubs and kids and cycling on Sunday with them again...feel like the ironman(or woman..hahaha).. The cycling was being forced upon by hubby..haven't been cycling for ages!!! Think more than 20 years.. He bought me a nice turquoise bike in 2013 and yup only 2015 i rode it! At first i told him to go with the kdis and I can just run/walk by the lake..he said no! You are cycling today! Err....yes boss!! The first fifteen seconds i was wobbling while the kids were cheering me on..but after that I was whizzing away..(well not actually speeding but i managed to get from point a to point b without falling off the bike). We cycled for one hour and a bit..it was breezy so it was nice but boy! My butt hurt like nobody's business!!  I was saying "my butt hurts! My butt hurts!" so many times, i think the other cyclists can hear me..hahaa...next time i going to wrap a towel on my seat and for sure, my kids and hubs will try to keep a great distance from me...and pretend I am not one of them..!!

Today i went swimming again..the cold was freezing cold (ok ok not like winter freezing cold but it did make me shiver).. But once I moved around, it wasn't so bad. Managed to get one hour of swimming ( ok to be honest, 40 mins of swim and another 20 of chatting and splashing around). Body feels lighter now but am so tired right now!! But it feels good! Have to keep this up so that I can fit my old jeans again!!!

Waiting

I have sent the email applying for the job and have gotten a reply asking for some sample of my articles. Articles? What articles? Anyway, I sent two of my entries from my other blog, something that is not about my kids (which is limited because I mostly blog about them and about my life!). So now waiting for the feedback, hoping it will be positive.

Supposed to be blogging more in this new blog of mine...somehow have not been doing that!!! Need to get that kick in the butt to get going...have to get someone to do that!! Why am I putting some many exclamation marks?

Have to go! Meeting friends to discuss what to do with our lives..☺️☺️

Done it!!!

Finally, after days of contemplating and thinking, worrying, back and forth changing my decision, I FINALLY sent the application for the part time writer's job. Just now! Like a few seconds ago...oh man! This is so nerve wrecking...was reading the book yesterday and as i was reading it, i know if you are scared to try and fail, you are not going to go anywhere or achieve anything. Rejection is a myth because it is something that we have in our heads. This was explained something like this.. For example, you applied to harvard but you didnt get in, so you are still in the same place as you were before which is not in harvard so you didnt lose anything. It is just that you didnt gain harvard (not yet at least!) so what do you do? TRY AGAIN!!! But what if you applied and you got it, that is good right but you wouldn't know until you do! So bottom line is just ask and apply and see how it goes. Things didnt go the way you want them to go, try again (and again and again and again.. You get the drift!)

Ok, now I will be nervous waiting for the reply (meaning wanting to check the email but scared to know the outcome) but going to try to stay calm. Positive thoughts!!!!!

Too scared to try

I have been scouting for a writing job and subscribed to this website alerting me of any jobs available. For the few months, most jobs require me to be in the office which I prefer not to. With my duty as the designated driver to the kids, I need to stick to my routine. Anyway, two days, (or is it three days?) ago, a job popped up and it was a home-based one! Yippee!!  For a while! Because after my excitement and semangat died down, I started to have all these negative thoughts such as I can't do it, they will realise that I am not good enough, that I won't be able to cope and bla bla bla. Plus they asked for a resume and I don't have one! After 14 years, of course I don't have one. Of course I make one, but what do I say? Apart from my education qualifications and my short stint as a career woman? Brainstorming... They want some writing experiences..but I guess I can just send them an email and see how it goes right? I am reading this book titled How to Get from where you are to where you want to be and one of the advices given is "Do it now!" Just like the Nike ad I guess.."just do it". But am I doing it now??? No!!!!

The whole morning I have been procrastinating of sending the email. I did housework and even cooked early and now I am blogging with the intention of watching a movie after this...talk about being motivated!!!! I am scared to be outside of my comfort zone but at the same time, I want things to change for the better, for me. I refuse to be just a housewife but am not confident in trying new things and venture out in the unknown world! Gosh!! Sounds like I am going to Mars or something. It is just trying for a home-based writing job for crying out loud!!! But yeah, I am thinking, contemplating, analysing and what not...I do tend to overthink things.. But need to get over it!!! Ok, will draft that email, will draft that email, will draft that email!!

Mommy, mommy where is Grandma's hair?

Mommy, mommy, I am scared
Why does Grandma look scary
Why does Grandma look weird
Mommy, mommy I don't like to see Grandma anymore

Mommy, mommy I am scared
Why does Grandma look like Grandpa
Looks like Grandpa's bald head
Where is Grandma's hair

Mommy, mommy I am sorry
Sorry to see Grandma crying, sorry to see her tears on her cheeks
I hold Grandma's hands, they are so cold, they are trembling
Grandma said she is fighting, fighting to be with me
Fighting those bad things in her body with the medicine that took her hair away

Mommy, mommy I am not scared anymore,
Grandma's smile is still the same
Even though she doesn't have anymore hair
Even though she doesn't wear a flower in her hair anymore
Her smile is still as sweet as ever
Her smile still warms up my heart

Mommy, mommy I still love Grandma very much
I still want to hold her hand, play with her, laugh with her
Even if she has no hair anymore
Those medicine took her hair away but they can't take her giggles away
They can't take her crooked smile away
They can't take my beautiful Grandma away

Post zumba

Just had my first zumba class after four weeks of hiatus..boy! It was torture but a good kinda torture..my arm was still hurting and now it is not getting better..time for a massage soon. Tomorrow, hopefully I won't chicken out!

Last night, I was looking through my doodling book and found some interesting topics that I can work on..soem poems and a few short stories..for now, i am just typing whatever that comes to mind..free write, which is very important in becoming a writer. I have been on and off doing that and that is not good, definitely! Get yourself together and write!

Need a massage

My right shoulder and arm have been hurting for the past few weeks, on and off. But for the past few days, it has gotten worse to the extend of me thinking that I need a massage. I do not like massages because it is painful and ticklish. But I dont have any choice as sometimes I can't even lift up my right arm..but hey I am typing now so maybe it has gotten bettter. The thing is it is worse at night and hubby has been helping by putting oil and massaging it gently (or so he said because to me, he was attacking my arm like a bread dough!) and also he bought dinner last night because cooking will make it worse (or is it?😝). Anywho, I am still comtemplating whether I should go for a massage or not. Imagining the pain that I have to endure. One of the problems that I have is to imagine the worst! Why can't I imagine the relief I will get after the massage instead? Positive thinking pleaseeeee!!!!

Ok, my arm is starting to hurt again..have to stop (an excuse or a reason?)